Be Yourself

Fuel Your Soul

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Why Your Pain is Your Power

- Be Yourself


Pain is part of life

We’re all trying to escape it. We dream of a life where the sun is always out; where we don’t hurt anymore; where there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow rather than a pile of shit.

When I was younger I was always in pain. I spent most of middle school and high school putting on a smile (literally, as a cheerleader) and truly believing that I was the victim. I spent most of college fading in and out of the scene and trying to numb my feelings with alcohol, pseudo friendships, and perfect grades. I was convinced that in a past lifetime, I must have done something to deserve all the suffering that I was facing in this one. I was anxious, depressed, and starving myself physically, socially, and psychologically. For the purpose of keepin’ it real – I was f*cked up.

Whether conscious of it or not, this was a decision that I made. I chose to resist all the feelings – good, bad, and ugly. I chose to dwell on the only emotion that I knew, which was loneliness. I chose to cling to the person I thought I was destined to be, which was small and depressed. I chose to continue to destroy myself.

It wasn’t until I realized that I was the one in the driver’s seat that I began to see my pain as my power. I began to appreciate everything I had gone through (and was still going through) as an experience, rather than a tragic movie that I was helplessly watching. I realized that this pain was, indeed, making me stronger and I knew that when I came out on the other side, it would be blindingly sunny.

My pain was no longer my demise, but my rocket fuel. I was no longer the victim. I was mother fucking Wonder Woman.



There is beauty in the breakdown

As humans, we are all going through something all the time. We experience illness, death, heartbreak, and disappointment. Whether it’s minor pain from a tiff with a coworker, or more excruciating, gut-wrenching, hide under the covers pain, it is there, and if we want to thrive we have got to accept it.

We are taught at a young age that pain is bad, and we spend most of our lives trying to eliminate it. We seek out therapists and pills and anything we can to make it stop, and in the end, all we are is numb. We need to learn to accept our pain as a part of us and love it as we love all parts of ourselves. We need to view it as rocket fuel, rather than kryptonite, and to understand that we can use its power to make us stronger, more empathetic, more grateful, and overall, better people.

I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain. - Sylvia Plath

While pleasure is powerful, it will not help you grow in the same ways that pain does.

If you are experiencing pain, I want you to know that it’s okay. You are allowed to feel like shit. Feelings are fleeting and it will get better. Your mind is strong. You are strong. Learn to use your pain as an incredible tool to propel you forward into greatness, and you will start to feel okay even when things are not. You will start to see that YOU are the one with the power.


The Art of Letting Go: Let’s Get Physical

- Soul


In case you’re like me and have 20 tabs open at once, you can listen to me lovingly read this post to you while you continue to do all the things. I stumbled a few times, but hey, no one’s perfect. 🙊

Oh, hey.

I had all the intentions of writing this follow-up post earlier in the month, but naturally, life happened. I was in Costa Rica where the internet was spotty, the weather was seductively sunny, and my attention span was nonexistent. I just wasn’t feeling it, and I’m learning that this is okay. Anyway, I’m here with you now, and 100% ready to dive into this difficult yet beautiful process of letting go. So without further ado, let’s get to it!


No. 1: Ditch all physical items that serve you no purpose

Take a look around. Whether you’re at the office, on your couch, or in your bedroom, chances are you’re surrounded by stuff. Of course, some of this stuff has value, either practical or sentimental, but if you actually take the time to analyze each item, I’m willing to make a bet that most of it doesn’t.

It’s difficult. Trust me, I know.

We’re humans and we have serious attachment issues. I’m talking crazy bitch high school relationship-attachment issues. We somehow manage to justify keeping EVERYTHING.

We tie sentimental value to the scarf that our ex-friend gifted to us in 9th grade, and we actually believe that we’ll one day find use for that oddly shaped vacuum cleaner extension. We hold onto clothing that doesn’t fit us properly, and we keep old, unfinished projects around because we feel connected to them. We thrive on connection and we are afraid to be without.

So what’s the big deal?

It’s energy and it’s h e a v y. Have you ever been around an item that makes you feel uneasy? Maybe you were antiquing with your grandma and you came across a doll that creeped you the f*ck out. No, you’re not crazy. You felt this feeling for a reason. You felt this doll’s energy. Every single item in your physical environment holds energy and if it isn’t bringing you joy and picking you up, it’s taking up space and weighing you down.


The Challenge 

For each of the next five days, get rid of five possessions that don’t bring you joy. These can range from clothing to piles of paid bills, and old receipts to books you know you’ll never get around to reading. It may not seem like a lot, but five items for five days equals 25 items, and 25 items will yield big results.

To make the process easier for you, I’ve created a free printable guide.

You can download it here.

Remember, if all else fails, you can always have someone else do the dirty work. I’m not ashamed to admit that I once asked my mom to go through boxes of my clothes when I wasn’t home, and throw out everything she didn’t like. Spoiler Alert: It was basically everything. While it pained me to think of the disposal of those borderline slutty dresses from high school that may or may not come back in style, and the ill-fitting graphic tees sporting nonsensical English phrases that I got on my Japan trip, I knew that I would only miss these items if I were face to face with them.

Guess what? It worked. My clothing inventory went from 4-5 boxes to a single basket, and as a bonus, my closet now consists only of items that make me feel damn sexy.

Physical items are just the first step. Stay tuned for Step No. 2 in the process of letting go! In the meantime, let me know how this challenge goes for you by shooting me a message or leaving a comment below. I cannot wait to hear how much lighter you feel after the next five days!

Create Space for a Magical 2018

- Soul

Hey guys!

I’ve got a question for you.

I want you to close your eyes for a moment and think hard about this before you answer.

What would you do if you had ZERO restraints?

Absolutely no bullshit weighing you down.

No guilt. No fear. No negative thoughts telling you that you suck.

What would you do if you felt so energized that you were actually able to get up and go for that early morning jog that’s been on your list of “should dos” for years? What would you do if you felt so awake and inspired that you were finally able to launch that dream biz that you’ve been envisioning since you were twelve? What would you do if you felt SO wild and free that you found yourself consistently smiling without even realizing it because your heart is so damn happy and light?

Hold that thought.

Picture this:

Each of your thoughts and feelings is a pillow. Now imagine yourself sitting on the floor in a room. Every time you have a negative thought or emotion a pillow gets thrown into the room. Maybe you’re having more than you’d like lately. This process continues until you’re completely sandwiched between pillows (And they aren’t the cute Joanna Gaines-style kind).

How do you feel? Getting a little crowded? Claustrophobic?

That’s what I thought.

If your room is filled with pillows aka negative thoughts, unnecessary anxieties, and relationships that have long outlived their time, you will have little space to breathe. Unless you learn to toss these pillows to the curbside, you will inevitably suffocate.

Suffocation sounds pretty terrible, doesn’t it?

There’s Good News

The good news is that you can clean the mother effing shit out of your room. You can toss as many pillows out the window as you desire. It’s YOUR choice to release the things that no longer serve you so that you can free up space for all the magic that you are meant to live.

With the start of the new year, it’s tempting to get a move on the exciting stuff like goal-setting and planning for the awesome future, but I cannot emphasize this enough:

You’ve got to clean your room before the party.

So what do you think? Are you ready to say “peace out!” to the pillows that are cramping your style and march into 2018 feeling energized, alive, and fucking fabulous? Stay tuned for my January blog series on the art of letting go. In the meantime, comment below and let me know one thing you cannot WAIT to ditch in the new year!

The process of letting go will not be easy, but I have 100% faith in you, and I can’t wait to see what beauty and magic surfaces once you ditch the unnecessary bullshit and create adequate s p a c e.